I think I realised I had a problem when I was walking back to the house of a man that had physically hurt me badly in the act of sĆ©x, and I was willingly about to give myself up to him again. Despite being terrified and it making me tremble and sick, I somehow couldnāt stop myself, I had to have my fix. Afterwards I felt used, I hated myself for what I had done, but that didnāt stop me. Married, attached, fathers , brothers of other conquests, it made no difference the more screwed up the better in the heat of the moment ā the higher the rush, and the deeper the low. āIt wasnāt just men , it was pĆ³rn, dangerous sĆ©x, exhibitionism, everything was justā¦