Revealed, A Must Read For We Men: Men aren’t always up for sex, they fake orgasm too?

It is commonly believed that many married women fake orgasms especially when they want to pretend to have enjoyed their spouses’ lovemaking in order not to hurt their feelings as well as protect their ego.

And since a woman’s orgasm is not visible unlike the man whose orgasm is evident as he ejaculates, most women can comfortably get away with faking orgasm.

However, a new study has revealed that many men also pretend about their orgasm. The study has also shown that condoms do make it easier to disguise the magic moment of performances involving heavy breathing and moaning. According to the study, men do actually fake being in sexual ecstasy.

Besides, those excuses – headaches, fatigues, not being in the mood – usually given by women are not limited to them alone. Men do have such ‘tricks’ up their sleeves.

Even though a man is believed to be the head of the family, beyond the need to provide for his family, he is also expected to be man enough to meet the sexual needs of his wife. In fact, some women rate their husbands’ strength by how many ‘rounds’ they could go while having sex.

While some men are ready for ‘action’ behind any closed door, at parks, beaches, on the chair and even in a moving vehicle, most women are more detailed and take their time when it comes to sex.

The study, conducted by Time Out magazine in New York, United States, showed that a whopping 30.6 per cent of the men who were interviewed for the research admitted that they fake orgasm to impress their wives and that all the blissful moment of climax was just a performance.

A separate recent survey by others including the University of Kansas, United States, corroborated the about 30 per cent statistics, noting that some men give the same reason for faking orgasm.

A 42-year-old lawyer, Mr. Anthony Adekunle, told our correspondent that he has had to fake orgasm sometimes to meet the sexual needs of his wife. “Sex requires energy and if I’m too tired or not in the mood for it while my wife is ready, I have to come up with something.

“Usually, most men are satisfied with quickie that does not take time, while some women need foreplay to prepare them for the real thing. So, by the time a man does some minutes and he has reached orgasm, the woman may still be far from satisfaction, hence, we find a way to satisfy them,” he said.

Also, Mr. James Odion, a businessman, said he agreed that men do fake orgasm. “It is more common when I’m trying to do more than one round. Naturally men feel weak once they ejaculate, so, in the process of trying to do more or faster, it could sometimes feel like a stressful effort and once I notice she is close to hers, I also join her to round off.

“Eventually, I may not release again because the first round is usually the ultimate. I have found out that she is more likely to climax during subsequent rounds after the first, and in a bid not to disappoint her, I tend to keep trying and fake mine once she’s there,” he said.

A Harvard Urologist, Prof. Abraham Morgentaler, in his book, ‘Why men fake it: The totally unexpected truth about men and sex,’ claimed that some men could feel compelled to perform sexually even when they are not in the mood, in order to match up to the status quo and as a form of kindness.

“While it is okay for a woman to say she’s too tired to make love, or that she has headache – in fact it’s so common there are jokes about it – it is not acceptable for men.

“The image is that men are always up for sex, which makes you feel under pressure to perform even when you don’t want to,” he said.

Morgentaler added that a big surprise to him when he started doing his work 25 years ago was that once a man is in a relationship, he seems to care more about his partner than himself.

“In their minds, faking an orgasm is actually a form of kindness. In a way, they are letting the other person know that they have done a good job,” he said.

A study published in Archives of Sexual Behaviour in March found that of the 481 sexually active US college-age women questioned, the number one motive for faking orgasms, just like men, was not to hurt their partner’s feelings.

Even though some sex therapists agree that there’s nothing wrong with a ‘white lie’ performance if it’s once in a while, it may be a problem if it’s done too often.

So, the next time you want to commend yourself for a job well done, take a minute to think if it was a genuine orgasm or not.

A consultant psychologist, Prof. Toba Elegbeleye, said it is true that men fake orgasm and that they do it on a number of occasions because men like to claim credit for being a superman and sustain their macho status when it comes to sex. He added that the use of condoms makes it easier to fake it because the woman would not ask about the content, adding that anybody who was going to tell a lie would have a way of planning for it.

“Psychologically, the man is inclined to tell a lie because he has to support the historical macho status associated with men with reality, so it happens.

“A man would always feel better if the woman commends him that he has done well in bed, so he would go to any length to convince the woman that he is a superman,” he explained.

Elegbeleye added that most of the time, orgasm is not only about releasing sperm, as it is possible to be sexually satisfied without much volume of sperm and that it is readily about human physiology.

He said, “The more rounds you go, the less the sperm that comes out. There are times you reach orgasm and very little or no sperm would come out and yet you feel satisfied and the woman you are dealing with will equally feel satisfied.

“You feel better as a man if your woman can vouch that her man is a macho, whether she’s your wife or girlfriend, you are like less than a man if you are unable to satisfy her. And anywhere status proof is at stake, people are likely going to lie.”

He said that even though it is easier for females to fake it because they do less of the activities and they are at the receiving end, women know when men fake it most of the time but that they let go for peace to reign.

“If the woman has experience, she knows but she would not let the man know because she knows he would feel extremely bad if he knew which may even affect his sexual relationship with her.

“Even though sperm is a symbol of orgasm, it is not all sexual activities where one claims that he reaches an orgasm that will produce sperm because the body produces a limited amount of sperm within 24 hours. So, if you exhaust everything within one encounter, you are probably not going to have enough left in the sack if you want to continue to go on.”

In her reaction, a clinical psychologist, Mrs. Oladele Olaitan, said even though orgasm and ejaculation in men are two separate processes, they usually happen at the same time, and that is why it is easier for men to fake it while using condoms because they won’t have to ejaculate into their partners which covers their secret.

She added that the reasons why men fake orgasm are similar to those of the women and that it could be to please and not hurt the partner’s feeling because they are concerned about the person’s rating of their performance and sexual and self-esteem.

“It can be because they want the sex to end quickly which may be because they are tired. Or the sex is not satisfying, they become bored, they want to sleep, the setting isn’t desirable, they are no longer in the mood for sex, they feel guilty and some other reasons.

“Some men also fake orgasm when it is unlikely to happen, which may be because of the use of certain medications like antidepressants and Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, alcohol intake, etc,” Olaitan said.